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Three tricks to keep a squirmy kid busy on a plane

May 26, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Picture this. You are on a plane, 35,000 feet in the air. You have hours to go before you reach your destination. Passengers are giving you dirty looks.  Your patience is wearing thin and you worry you might lose your mind (and your temper) before your flight is over. The cause? Your squirmy kid. What’s a traveling parent to do? Zip ties? Just kidding, although my husband and I have discussed this option more than once.

My little travelerDoesn’t she look calm, sweet and innocent?

I am writing this post because I am the mom childless adults fear. The mom of the very loud, very active, and very impatient child. The child who, I might add, never naps on a plane (okay, once, when we adopted her and returned from Armenia). One of the worst scenarios I can imagine is putting this child in an enclosed metal tube, holding her hostage in an uncomfortable seat, restricted by an equally uncomfortable seat belt. For hours. Just thinking about this makes me want to give up traveling, which is unfortunate because I love to travel.

Feet up on the plane seatAttempting to climb over the seat.

As a kid-free traveler for many years, I completely understand–sympathetic as one may want to be–how frustrating it is to have your seat kicked every ten seconds or find yourself in the row beside a screaming child. Now that we are parents, no matter how much I tell myself people ‘get it’–or at least those with kids get it–I still feel hyper-aware each time my daughter stands up and looks over the seat or screams for any extended period of time. There have been flights, more than one, where my husband has held her in a tight embrace as she kicked and hollered at the top of her lungs. Not much fun for anyone, including us.

Upside down on the planeNot child torture. Just having fun in the galley where we’ve spent lots of time.

On one of our trips, when our daughter was a toddler, we filled Ziplock bags with a lifesaver, earplugs and a photo of our daughter that read: I am 16 months old. Airplanes are new to me, so thank you for your patience if I make too  much noise. We passed these bags out to the people in the rows beside, behind, and in front of us. People laughed and I felt like our gesture let us off the hook for anything that might follow during our flight!

Plane kit toddlerYou have been warned.

I have tried all sorts of tips that have been touted by fellow parent travelers, like giving my kid Benadryl in the hopes it would knock her out–nope, and antihistamines even make some kids hyper. I’ve brought along all sorts of toys she thought were a snooze…but, sadly, nothing that made her snooze. Every kid is different, of course, and you will want to make adjustments depending on the age of you kid (or kids), but here are three tricks we’ve tried to keep our squirmy kid busy on the plane.*

Backpack noveltiesInside that cute ladybug backpack? Ammo enough (we hope) for one flight’s worth of fun.

Backpack novelties

Right before our trip, I smuggle my daughter’s special travel backpack out of her closet and fill it with novel toys and games: new stickers, lacing cards, paper and crayons, a small puzzle, and magnet play boards like Magnetic Whiskers. Melissa & Doug On The Go Water Wow are also fun, “paint” without the fuss and muss, small and packable.

I do not let her see anything in her backpack until our plane is off the ground and at cruising altitude. The curiosity and anticipation is sometimes enough to hold her through the first 30 minutes. I cross my fingers and hope the goodies inside will keep her busy for the rest of the flight, if we’re lucky and if we dole them out slowly. You can get all sorts of cool geegaws and gadgets on Amazon.com, and Safeway, Walgreens, Bartell or The Dollar Store are all great places for toys on the cheap. Note: If you let older kids pack their own backpacks it’s smart to see what’s going in there.

Looking over the seatSay ‘Hi’…whether you want to or not!

New videos and games

Make sure to bring your Kindle Fire, like the Fire Kids Edition Tablet. Load it with videos and games, preferably some they haven’t seen before or that are  generally off-limits in your home except for special occasions. Like taking trips. We have worked the “You can watch Frozen!” angle on more than one occasion. Don’t have a portable device like the Kindle or a DVD player? Buy one. Now.

Videos should be accompanied by headphones, not earbuds which can easily fall out and might not cancel background noise for the kid and video noise for passengers sitting nearby. I have been on airplanes where I was subjected to more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles audio in a few hours than I’d heard in a lifetime. Cowabunga, dude. One risk is that some kids, such as ours, will then talk very loudly, yell even, because their headphones make them unaware of the volume of their voice.

Snacks on planeWhat gourmet dining looks like when you’re two.

Yummy snacks

There’s not a kid alive who isn’t wooed by a good snack, especially it’s a treat they only get on special occasions. Of course the caveat is that some kids, like ours, get pretty worked up from high-sugar snacks so this trick can backfire if you’re not careful. Plus, chocolate melts and little hands are in close quarters with a myriad of things that can easily be stained. Animal crackers, popcorn, and potato chips are a few that take awhile to get through. Having to reach inside the bag or box, eat and repeat extends the fun. Now is not the time to be concerned about nutrition and of course, and you can always supplement with apple slices, cheese cubes and raisins. Of course, a lollypop is never a bad idea, particularly during take-off and landing when sucking and swallowing can help open little ear canals.

One last bit of advice. Plan your flight in 15-minute slots. For a three-hours in the air you need around ten activities to keep little ones with short attention spans entertained. Take-off and landing are typically the “stars of the show,” which gives you a 15-minute reprieve on the front and back ends of your journey. We spent a lot of time on one flight discussing the wheel well while waiting for the plane’s wheels to descend!

Happy travels to all the moms and dads out there–and GOOD LUCK!

Ardea and bunny flyingBon Voyage!!

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

*Disclaimer: I did say “try.” Which doesn’t always mean we were successful.

Filed Under: Family, Travel Tagged With: kid, plane

Angels of the ocean: Snorkeling with Manta Rays on Kona

May 19, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Her name was Koie. She had a wingspan nearly 14 feet across and was doing balletic belly rolls mere inches from my body, occasionally brushing her tail against my chest as she spun round and round and round. Snorkeling at night with Manta Rays is an otherworldly experience. Yet there we were, very much in this world, floating in the dark waters of the Pacific Ocean off the island of Kona, otherwise known as Hawaii’s “Big Island.”

Manta Ray

Our evening began aboard Kona Ocean Adventures with Captain Danny, capable and hilarious, at the helm (Insider tip: Danny also makes a mean salsa!). We each donned a wetsuit and set out toward the open sea. Our destination? Manta Heaven! Because where else would you find these angels of the ocean?

Ready to snorkel with Manta Rays

History of viewing Manta Rays in Hawaii

The mantas at Manta Heaven and also at Manta Village, another site nearby, have been coming to feed in varying numbers almost every evening for more than 15 years (the record number being 42 on July 4, 2013). Manta Village is the original site where everything started back in the early 70’s, when the Kona Surf Hotel opened.

The resort illuminated the surf zone with bright floodlights, so guests could enjoy the beauty of the wave action at night from the rooms and public viewing decks. Unintentionally, this attracted manta rays to the area because the lights caused planktonic marine life to concentrate in the water near the shoreline. Over time, the mantas “learned” that this was a favorable feeding area. Because of this learned behavior, Hawaii is the only place in the world where you can be an arm’s length away from this remarkable and beautiful creature.

In 1991, Jim Robinson, prior owner of Kona Coast Divers, decided to schedule scuba night dives on Monday nights in front of the resort, because he was aware that mantas were frequenting the area. He also had custom built underwater lights made up to set on the bottom thereby drawing the manta rays away from shore into deeper water where it would be easier to position groups of divers. It was an instant success. Other dive operators then followed suit. Marine life interaction guidelines were established to ensure that the rays were not harmed. At that time, James Wing had the video concession at Kona Coast Divers, so he covered manta dives as well.

In its early stages, the Manta Ray Night Dive was scheduled once a week, yet it was only a matter of time before boat operators would be doing this every night. Over the years, more rays were conditioned to feed at the Kona Surf Hotel at night. However, in May 2000, the Kona Surf Hotel was closed and the lights were turned off. The mantas stopped frequenting the area until the resort re-opened as the Sheraton Keauhou Bay Resort & Spa in October 2004. When the Sheraton Keauhou Bay Resort & Spa planned their re-opening, James Wing teamed up with the resort to re-create a favorable manta venue. A short time later,  mantas returned and many new manta rays have been identified and named since. James also created the stone circle, known as the “campfire.” which has been used as a point of reference to settle divers in the sand in the least disruptive way. It is still used to this day.

Manta Ray Koie

Cool FACTS about manta rays

  • Mantas are one of  11 species in the ray family and were split into two species in 2009, Manta birostris (the giant oceanic manta) and Manta alfredi (the resident reef manta). Giant manta rays are found in the Eastern Pacific and embark on significant ocean crossings, whereas reef manta rays stop at Hawaii and French Polynesia.The mantas we saw in Hawaii are Manta alfredi and have cephalic fins on either side of their head, which are used to funnel plankton-rich water into their mouths while feeding Note: our gal Koie had one of her fins caught in a fishing line and damaged. You can see how her left cephalic fin is mostly missing in my photos.
  • Fossil records suggest rays have been around in their modern form for at least 20–25 million years, and true manta rays first appeared in the fossil record approximately 4.8 million years ago. Although they originally evolved from stingrays, manta are harmless and cannot sting.
  • Manta rays have distinct spots and blotches on their stomachs, which help researchers when trying to count their numbers. Koie had an easily identifiable ‘W’ on her stomach which you can see in one of my photos.
  • Manta have the largest brains of all 32,000 species of fish known to date, and they display intelligent behavior, such as coordinated and cooperative feeding. On our snorkel trip, we were lucky enough to see as many as eight manta rays at one time!
  • Manta rays are very vulnerable to overfishing. They produce only one large baby on average every one to three years. They also grow slowly and have a long lifespan, up to 25 years and possibly as long as 50-100 years. Some wild manta rays have been seen over 30-year-period. Sadly, manta (and other ray) populations have dramatically decreased over the past decade as a result of demand for their gill rakers from China, where they are sold as medicinal products.
  • In the waters off Kona, the mantas are protected. As of June 5, 2009, the Governor of the State of Hawaii signed Act 092(09) making it illegal to kill or capture manta rays in Hawaii. Penalties included up to a $10,000 fine and forfeiture of any manta rays, commercial marine license, vessel, and fishing equipment. I was also really impressed with how much our captain (and other boats) emphasized that we should not touch the mantas, because they have a protective slime coating on their body. Touching removes this mucus layer and compromises the creatures immune system.

manta ray feeding on plankton

Our MANTA experience

Fascinating facts aside, there is something indescribably magical about being IN the water with these magnificent creatures. But first–full disclosure–I have not snorkeled much in the ocean and I confess the thought of climbing into the water–at night–was a bit unsettling. Of course, on our way over, Captain Danny had regaled us with stories of coming face to face with a Tiger shark (though not while diving with mantas) not far from where we were snorkeling, which made my overly active imagination run wild. As we swam from our boat to “the campfire,” a spot where boats congregate for divers and snorkelers alike, the water was dark, really dark. I did find my mind wandering and my eyes scanning the water for any signs of…well you know, Jaws. But the truth is, sharks are rarely spotted and those that are (usually reef sharks), are shy and stay a safe distance away.

When we reached the campfire, there were a lot of people: some snorkeling on top of the water and others diving below. The tours are really good about keeping divers on the ocean floor and snorkelers on the surface, so the stars of the show–the mantas–can swim freely without much disruption. On the surface, however, sometimes things got a bit crowded and I took a fin to the face once or twice (ahem…that blue fin in my top photo).

But once we saw OUR FIRST MANTA, any concerns about killer sharks or errant snorkel fins, were the last thing on my mind. The way the night dive works is the boats turn on underwater lights (and there are also lights set up on the ocean bottom where the divers congregate), the lights attract the plankton and the plankton attract the mantas (who are now habituated to this set-up) and voila–Manta Ray banquet commences.

On our night out we got very lucky and first one, then three and ultimately upwards of eight mantas were dipping and diving, swirling and turning right below us. And I do mean right below us. I am still somewhat amazed I got any photos or video given my excitement (and my sub-par underwater camera). All around us people were yipping and hollering, elated with the beauty of these incredible animals, and I was alternately holding my breath and hyperventilating from all the excitement.

Koie was, without a doubt, the star of the show and there were moments when she was being “chased” by two males, and occasionally rolling around with one. We were told that we might have been privy to “manta mating train,” when male mantas attempt to woo a female.Koie was magnificent, even with her scars and fin deformity. I was truly mesmerized watching her dance in the moonlit water, whether she was performing a graceful solo adagio or a delightful pas de deux.

Identify individual mantas by markings

Our nighttime manta snorkel excursion was an experience I’ll remember for the rest of my life. Being belly to belly with these gentle giants is awe inspiring. If you ever find yourself on the island of Kona–go do this! Here’s an underwater video I took of Koie during our trip.

If you want to learn more about Manta Rays, take a look at this fabulous website: Manta Rays Hawaii. Super informative and if you plan to visit the mantas of Kona you can learn about each individual ray. Pretty cool, don’t you think?

And if you want to help support manta populations, check out some of the wonderful conservation organizations such as: Manta Pacific, Manta Ray of Hope, and Manta Trust.

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Travel Tagged With: Big Island, Hawaii

Favorite things: My backyard paradise

May 13, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Nothing makes me happier than spending time in my garden, breathing in the fresh air, listening to the sounds of the birds and being surrounded by flowers and plants. It’s my own private backyard paradise.

Our garden in May

Our garden beds in May

And so I’m sure it comes as no surprise that when the weather warms up, I’m out there every chance I get. My cares melt away and time stands still as I dig my hands in the soil, prune, and fuss over my beloved garden.

Here are a few photos from the past month, many taken for my 366 Project. I am especially fascinated by the details, the stamens on a Clematis flower, a ladybug happily munching on aphids as she crawls along the stem of a rose, the prospect of adding tiny chive blossoms to a salad picked fresh from our garden beds, birds making their families.

Garden clematis vine

Garden ladybug

Chive blossom

Hosta unfurling

Baby robin on chair

chickadee in birdhouse

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Garden Tagged With: 366 Project, seasons

Mother’s Day: Mama’s IN the picture

May 7, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Mother and daughter on Mother's Day

I am always behind the camera, especially these days as I continue to work on my 366 Project, taking one photo every day for a year. Much as I love taking pictures, sometimes it’s nice to be on the other side of the camera. Last week I got my chance, in a pre-Mother’s Day event called Mama’s in the Picture, a benefit for Soulumination, a wonderful organization that celebrates the lives of children and parents facing life-threatening conditions by providing professional photographs of these special individuals.

The event was organized by two of the most amazing photographer moms I know, Wenmei Hill and Mary Balmaceda. They are the founders of Mamas with Cameras, a Seattle group with workshops and meetups for shutter happy mamas. Like me.

I’ve been an active member of the group for over five years–Wow! Has it been that long? I joined over a year before we adopted our daughter and used to joke that I was the only mother there who…wasn’t a mother. Now I am! I look forward to each monthly meetup because I always learn something new. Plus I get to hang out with some of the coolest photog mamas in Seattle. mom and daughter

Since I am so rarely in the picture, I frequently wonder what my daughter will think when she gets older about my role in the family. Where was Mama on that trip to Hawaii? How come so many of the family photos have me, Papa or the cats in them but not Mama? Why are there so few pictures of Mama with me.

I believe this is something moms wonder about a lot. Our jobs are largely behind the camera. We schedule and organize, plan for parties and play dates, shop for clothes and food, make meals and shuttle kids to sports events–we use our mama superpowers to stealthily make it all happen–behind the scenes. And that is why I was so excited for the opportunity to be IN the picture. Years from now, when my daughter looks back on these shots, I hope she’ll know that even though mama might not have been in many of our family pictures, she was always there.

A HUGE shout out to Wenmei Hill and Mary Balmaceda for giving us a mamas a chance to do something we rarely get to do; to Soulumination for the stunning venue; and, to Mamas with Cameras. You mamas are my inspiration in every way!

Happy Mother’s Day!

mom and daughter

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Holiday, Photography Tagged With: Mamas with Cameras, Mother's Day

Look who’s 5. Happy Birthday!

May 3, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Look who’s 5!!

birthday

Five years ago, our daughter was born in Armenia. The first time we saw a photo of her, she was probably a few months old. After recently visiting two newborn babies, I am struck by how much of her young life we missed, even though she was 11-months-old when she joined our family. I watch newborn moms coo and snuggle, nurse and touch and fuss over their babies and know daughter missed out on this crucial bonding experience. Even though she was well-cared for by the nannies in her orphanage, she didn’t experience being “a family girl” for the first year of her life.

referral photo

referral photo

Being an adoptive mom has it’s own unique set of challenges, as does starting life in an orphanage and spending your first critical year without the security of a home and the constancy of family. I see the impact of these circumstances in my daughter.

But I also see her resilience and her strength and know these traits will serve her well. She is smart, funny and grabs life by the horns–my wild child, born in the sign of the bull.

In celebration of her fifth trip around the sun, she asked to have her nails painted this lovely spring green, with nail polish she received as a special gift from a special person, found inside the “Magic Cabinet.” Green is my favorite color, the color of life, renewal and growth. And so it is with this I wish my daughter–so full of energy and life–a year of renewal and growth. Here’s to hoping her next trip around the sun will be the best one yet!

painted toenailsHappy 5th Birthday Little Bird!

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Family Tagged With: birthday

On top of the world: Mauna Kea, Hawaii

April 28, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

There we were, breathing in the air–what little of it there was–on top of the tallest mountain in the world! If you’re guessing I recently added my name to to the 4,000+ people who have summited Mount Everest, guess again. I was in Hawaii on the summit of Mauna Kea, which is really the tallest mountain on earth if you measure from stem to stern. At 13,796 feet (4,205 meters) above sea level, Mauna Kea is only 110 feet (35 meters) higher than its neighbor Mauna Loa, and is the highest point in the state of Hawaii. Measured from its base on the ocean floor, Mauna Kea rises over 33,000 feet (10,000 meters), significantly greater than the elevation of Mount Everest.

Mauna Kea Hawaii

On tour with Mauna Kea Summit Adventures, we drove to the visitor center at 9,200 feet (2,800 meters) to have dinner and acclimate to the elevation before heading to the summit for a spectacular sunset.  Aside from experiencing air that has 40% less oxygen than you’d inhale at sea level, we learned about the telescopes and observatories on the summit. My husband, Joel, is an astrophotographer in his off-hours. He spends a lot of time (and many very late nights) taking photos of distant stars, nebulae and galaxies.

I photograph all sorts of things on this planet, but I am in awe of what can be captured with astrophotography because it is so far out of the realm of my understanding and expertise.

Hawaii observatory

After sunset, we left the summit and drove back down a few thousand feet, to a spot near the visitor center where our tour guides set up a couple telescopes so we could look at objects in deep space. Amazing! Despite weather that had been anything but clear and a moon that was more than half full (generating a lot of distracting light), we were able to view a double star, star cluster and a nebula. Joel even managed to score an extra bonus–just for the two of us to view–the Omega Centauri globular cluster, basically a ball of…oh, only 10 million stars! 15,800 light years away. Try to wrap your brain around that!

While we were there, I tried to get a few photographs of the night sky, something I’ve never done before. It was fun but my results let me know I’ve got a steep learning curve ahead of me.

Big Island Night sky

Being on the top of the world on Mauna Kea was a breathtaking experience, in every sense of the word. As my husband will say, whenever we see something noteworthy, “I haven’t seen anything like that since the high slopes of Everest.” And it’s true. I haven’t been at an elevation this high or seen a sky filled with so many visible stars since 2009, when I had the great privilege to stand at Mount Everest base camp in Tibet.

Both times I was struck by the same thought–here I am on the tallest mountain in the world and I feel so small. Just a speck on this planet. Looking into the night sky on Mauna Kea I was again reminded how the Earth is one small speck in our solar system. But what a beautiful speck it is!

Mount EverestBase camp Mount Everest at 17,598 feet

Mauna Kea HawaiiMauna Kea, Hawaii summit at 13,796 feet

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Travel Tagged With: Big Island, Hawaii

Highlights from Hawaii: Photos of the Big Island

April 23, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

We just came back from two weeks on the Big Island of Hawaii. Although the weather in Seattle had Hawaii’s beat hands down (oh the irony), we did see and do some amazing things. I saw my first active volcano and my first native Hawaiian owl, breathed thin air at 13,000+ feet on Mauna Kea and experienced the wonder of snorkeling with manta rays! Here are a few photographic highlights.

Wood carving of face

Volcano National Park

Gecko

Big Island mountain sunset

Pink orchid

Black sand and painted toenails

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Photography, Travel Tagged With: Big Island

366 Project: Four things I’ve learned during my third month

April 14, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

March 31 and I’m 1/4 towards the finish line of one photo each day for a year. By December 31, 2016 I hope to have amassed 366 photos. Every month I learn something new about myself as a photographer and a person. Here are four things I’ve learned this month.

Photos March

Patience or luck: I have had some pretty good luck, like the day I caught a beaver swimming below me and an eagle in our tree later that afternoon. But I also think my luck has to do with patience. I will sit and wait until that cormorant lifts his leg and takes a step. Or I’ll take twenty shots of a tulip from several angles at different times of the day until I get a shot that speaks to me.

I enjoy “happy accidents”: For all my planning, there have been a few shots that were happy accidents. I took a picture of my cats through the window screen and I’ll be darned, but it looked like a tapestry. And those birds that kept flying away as soon as I stepped out onto our deck? Well, I clicked away through our glass door. The shots were blurry but the blur looked cool and painterly.

I have a good eye: I am always putting a frame around my view. My eyes are drawn to patterns in plants, a tiny detail. You know how in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” the young boy Cole says “I see dead people?” Well I see photographs. Everywhere I go.

I love nature but…: On more days than not, my photos are of nature: plants, animals, scenery. I do find shooting nature meditative. But I would also love to photography people more. I have taken a few shots for our cousins who were pregnant and just had a baby. My own two-legged beloveds? They REALLY do not like to be in front of the camera. So–I need to find some creative ways to catch them!

Young eagle

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Photography Tagged With: 366 Project

Favorite things: Street art in Yerevan

April 11, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

One of the things I loved seeing in Yerevan, Armenia’s capitol, was the street art. I am especially fond of the murals tucked into archways on many of the side streets throughout the city, over 100 buildings decorated with scenes of Yerevan, depicting nature and Armenian fairy tales.

Street art mural

Archway painting drying clothes

Buildings mural

Flying books mural

Yerevan picket fence mural

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Armenia Tagged With: street art, Yerevan

New world, new life: Our daughter’s first moments in the U.S.

April 8, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

When I was growing up, we would talk about relatives who came from “the old country.” I have often tried to picture what it may have been like for them to leave behind the country of their birth and come to the U.S. to start a new life.

Once familiar sounds, smells and sites become memories. Saying goodbye to friends and family, you might never see again. Having very little, if anything, that once was yours–clothing, furniture, mementos, treasured belongings. For adults, abandoning a job, your livelihood.

We talk about the U.S. as being the land of opportunity, and for many who left their homeland to start anew, this may have been true. But when I try to imagine undertaking a life-changing journey such as this, the feelings that come up for me are sadness, fear, loss.

Our daughter was 11-months-old when she left everything and everyone she ever knew. Her blue tights, festooned with pictures of buttons, were the only thing she took from the orphanage, her home for the first year of her life. But even though she was just a baby, I am certain her tiny brain held memories of nannies who answered her cries, the lilt of the first language she ever heard, the feel of the crib where she spent most of her days.

Then, on April 8, she left it all. Sixteen hours, two planes and 36 hours of travel later, there she was, the newest citizen in her new world. It was Easter Sunday when we landed and drove to our home. For one little girl, it was the journey of a lifetime.

Daughter on plane starting a new life

From an orphanage bed to a tiny cot on an airplane….

Daughter on plane to US

…to her own crib in her own room.

Daughter seeing crib

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: homecoming

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Some might fend off a mid-life crisis by leaving the comforts of their corporate salary to jet off to a deserted island. Others might buy a Jaguar. I’ve chosen to dive head-long into my 50s and beyond by becoming a first-time parent. At any given moment you might find me holding a camera, a spade, a spatula or a suitcase. Or my little girl's hand. Adopted from Armenia, she puts the Pampers and Paklava into my life.

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