Driving to meet our daughter: Two men, two women, a taxi and a flat tire

October 13, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

You know you’re going somewhere when you find yourself in the back of a taxi bombing down an exceedingly bumpy two-lane highway at speeds exceeding 100 mph. And five years ago, we were in fact going somewhere important as we sped north on the road that connects Yerevan, Amenia to Gyumri. My husband and I were headed to meet the baby girl we hoped to adopt. Little did we know this would become the taxi ride we’d never forget.

We sat in the back of the taxi, watching the autumn scenery out our window. Hillsides in shades of gold, 13,419 foot Mount Aragats looming to the east, snow already coating its steep slopes, herds of sheep, cows and the occasional shepherd.

Our driver appeared to be in his forties, slim, dark haired with an aquiline nose and pleasant, unassuming face. I’m pretty sure he’d been driving a taxi since he was old enough for his legs to reach the pedals.

As the crow flies, the distance from Yerevan to Gyumri is roughly 75 miles, but because of the road conditions it can take up to two hours to go from one city to another.

Armenian taxi drivers know this route like the back of their hands. Ours swerved this way and that to avoid potholes. It’s very unusual to find seat belts in Armenian taxis, and ours did not have any. So that meant whenever we hit a bump or landed in a pothole we’d find ourselves airborne, like we were riding a mechanical bull at the rodeo, heads clonking hard against the ceiling of the taxi. By the end of the ride, my husband joked his spine was two inches shorter.

We’d been on the road about an hour when I heard a high pitched whine coming from the rear, followed by a thwakety-thwak as the car careened unevenly towards the median. Our translator asked the driver what was happening, and with an anxious look he pulled the car off to the side of the road. Cars flew by us as he stepped out. Flat tire.

So there we were, stuck on the side of the road, surrounded by an empty wind-swept valley. No villages. No gas stations. I silently crossed my fingers hoping the driver had a spare road-worthy enough to take us the rest of the way to our destination. We’d already missed the first day of visitation because the orphanage director was out of town.

Sure enough he did. Fiften minutes later, he had the spare on and we piled back into the taxi to continu on our journey. Another hour passed, uneventfully, until we reached the outskirts of Gyumri.

Gyumri is a city with roughly 122,000 residents, still reeling following a devastating earthquake in 1988. 25,000 people lost their lives in that disaster. Box cars provided as “temporary” housing nearly three decades ago are still being used today.

Our driver tell the translator he hasn’t been to Gyumri in years, which quickly becomes obvious to us that as he pulls the taxi over to ask first one and then two people for directions to the orphanage. We stop a third time to ask a police office who stares blankly when our translator tells him the name of the orphanage. So instead we drive in aimless circles, passing by the same statues, the same town square until we finally arrive at a corner the translator recognizes. Gingerly, our driver edges the taxi around several crater-sized potholes before pulling off the road beside a stone wall painted with faintly visible scenes of mountains and people, painted by children. A turquoise blue door opens to a driveway where a small scraggly brown and white dog greets us. We have arrived.

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

366 Project: A few things I learned during the month of September

October 5, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

I can hardly believe I’ve entered the “final quarter” of my 366 Project. Only three months remaining! I’d been feeling like I’ve got this in the bag, until I scheduled partial knee replacement surgery for early December. My first thought: “What will happen to my 366 Project?!” Well, there may be a few shots of my knee—before and after—but I am still committed to completing this!

During the month of September I learned a couple things about taking photos of birds, namely it does really help to increase my ISO (film speed, for you non-photogs) so I can also increase my shutter speed. The photos do have more “noise” (less crisp), but it certainly helps with birds who are moving or flying, as birds so often do. I’m going to keep playing with this and see how it goes!

The second thing I’ve learned is that it does indeed make a difference if you have a lens with a bigger “reach.” I’ve been experimenting with a nifty new “toy,” a 150-600 mm used lens I bought. The lens is super large and heavy (I won’t be backpacking with it, let’s just say that) but it does what it’s designed to do…get right up there and personal with my little feathered friends.

On the people front, I continue to try new “tricks” when taking photos of my daughter. As I’ve mentioned, she isn’t always the most willing muse but if I get clever, “Do you want to go see the spaceship?” I’m definitely more likely to pique her interest.

The other trick is I try not to “wear out my welcome.” I’ve always been envious of moms (and dads) whose kids pose for the camera—easily. No bribery necessary. My kid is not that kid. But if I catch her at the right moment and in the right mood…and I’m quick about it, I can usually get a few good shots. Of course if she’s really into doing something (like throwing water balloons with Dada), I have a lot more chances to get it right.

No matter the season, there is always something happening in my garden or in the natural world around me. Sometimes it’s really subtle and you might pass by if you weren’t on the lookout, like when plants flower before they go to seed. I am a big fan of spring and autumn—they are each dramatic in their own way, one season bringing new life everywhere you look and the other flashes of brilliance before quieting down for winter. The lesson is to look, look for the subtle changes, the tiniest of details.

And the final lesson is pretty obvious. Get out there! Take a few minutes to stroll along the lake or sit on a park bench. We all (me included) get so busy with our days that we lose awareness of our surroundings, running from here to there with our gaze locked onto our phones. Take some time, get out there and look!

And with that, here’s September!

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

A visit from the tooth fairy!

September 23, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Guess which 5-year-old lost her first tooth on the first day of Fall?

And guess who wasn’t at home when it happened? Mama and Dada. We were out enjoying a lovely date night dinner. Luckily Bess, our daughter’s much beloved babysitter, was on site for the big event.

This particular tooth had been a topic of frequent conversation for over the past month, after it “got wiggly.” I was expecting it to come out any day, but not this day! Thankfully we were prepared for this momentous occasion.

Bess gave us her tiny tooth which we carefully placed in the special Tooth Fairy box. And then we went to sleep.

Lo and behold! When we all awoke in the morning, we saw a small piece of paper tied with a ribbon sitting beside the box. The paper was ceremoniously unrolled and this is what it said.

Tucked inside the box was a rainbow bracelet with one small locket (Hello Kitty, of course!). Inside the locket was our daughter’s tiny tooth.

Some tooth fairies take the tooth and fly away, leaving a gift behind, but our little one wanted to save the teeth she lost—just like her mama did—so we put out vibes for the same special tooth fairy to look over our daughter’s precious pearly whites.

At the breakfast table this morning, we had a long conversation. We talked about tooth fairies of yore and tooth fairies today. We told her what we’d each received when we’d left behind our teeth (Big Papa got a dime and I received all manner of coins). There were questions about the gifts, the teeth, what happens in other families. Lots of breathy excitement over this big life transition.

I still remember what a big deal it was to lose my baby teeth. And how badly I wanted to keep them. Which is why I still have mine, thanks to my tooth fairy, tucked away in a drawer, and nestled in the same slim gold Cigarillo box where I placed them many years ago.

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Postscript: When I dropped my daughter off at kindergarten, her teacher told me she is the first in their class to lose a tooth and they “graph it.”

Becoming who we are: My daughter starts the journey to herself

September 15, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

My daughter entered kindergarten this week and also began swim lessons at a new location. Beginnings. Soon she’ll be introduced to reading, science, math, art, music, sports. Some of these activities will take hold and become her strengths. Others she might dislike or struggle with. A few might turn into lifelong passions that shape who she’ll become, her career, hobbies, identity.

Looking back, the things that brought the most joy into my life—and still do—took root in elementary school. By the time I was in 6th grade, I knew I was “good at” reading and art. I loved being in the water and took to swimming easily. I remember going down to the darkroom in our basement and being mesmerized by the magic of it all.

For some parents the transition to kindergarten can be hard, bittersweet. Separation, fewer hours together. As parents, it’s also the time when we hand over a lot of control to teachers and other adult mentors in our kids’ lives. I have my concerns. Most parents do. But overall, I’m excited for her.

I can’t wait for her to learn how to read. She’s always been over-the-moon about books. I hope she makes progress with her swimming lessons because she’s so fond of the water and we live in a place where it’s all around us. She loves animals. In school she’ll find out so much more about them and the world they live in, the world we live in. At various times she’s said she wants to be a farmer when she grows up, or a veterinarian, or maybe a baker. Who knows? Maybe she will settle on one of these. Most likely she’ll try on different versions of herself until she finds the one that suits her. My daughter is taking her first steps towards becoming who she will be, and I’m looking forward to seeing where the road takes her.

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

366 Project: Three things I’ve learned during my seventh month

September 2, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

I just wrapped up the month of August for my 366 Project. 245 days of taking pictures! Every month I learn something new, about my camera and myself. Here are a few insights from August:

There is a never-ending learning curve: My biggest take-away from the past seven months of my 366 Project is HOW MUCH there is to learn about photography! Light, camera settings, post-processing, working with kids, couples and locations. I’ve been taking photos most of my life, but still feel like I’m at the tip of the iceberg in terms of how much I know and how much I want to know. My “to do” list for learning is quite lengthy. A few things I’d like to learn: how to use a flash, batch editing in Lightroom, really understanding my camera settings, being able to anticipate what I need to do in a wide array of shooting circumstances such bright sun or flat gray sky, night time shots, how to use my Lensbaby lenses and how to get my business off the ground.

There are a lot of local resources for me to tap to become a better photographer: This month I took two free classes at a Kenmore Camera. One was ‘Birds 101‘ which was suggested to me by several of the Mamas with Cameras, as in “Beth you have to go!” So I did and not only was it fantastic, I heard about the upcoming Puget Sound Bird Fest in Edmonds, Washington on September 9-11. And, when I heard about the bird fest, I found out there was going to be a photography exhibit. I entered and one of my hummingbird shots–which you can see HERE in my June post–will be one of 40 photos at the exhibit!

I like a fun challenge…especially if it involves a list: In June, a couple of the women in my Mamas with Cameras 365/52 Project Wonder Women group suggested a “Summer Scavenger Hunt Hashtag Contest.” There was a list with 46 hashtags of things having to do with summer, like: #MWC_kite, #MWC_last_day, and #MWC_splash. And…there was a prize for the person who completed the most tags by Labor Day. On top of this, if someone completed all the hashtags she’d be entered to win a photography headshots session.

If there’s a list, I’m in, although I confess I become a bit obsessed with crossing off as many things as I can (I am like that any list). Labor Day is just around the corner and I’m close, but it pains me to say I won’t get every last hashtag. Hoping for 41 out of 46.

And with that, here’s August:

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Jumping into a new chapter: My daughter starts kindergarten

August 25, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

This week my daughter attended JumpStart. Over the course of five days, kids who are about to start kindergarten go to their school for a few hours each day. While there, they get to meet their teachers and “practice” a few of the things expected of kindergartners. On the first day of JumpStart, when all the kids formed a straight line and walked out to their classroom, there was my daughter, sticking out her hand to shake the hand of the assistant principal. I was so proud of her, my little go-getter.

kindergarten daughter goes to school

Some of my own earliest memories date back to my experiences as a grade-schooler. I loved school. Reading, social studies, learning all sorts of things about the world. I think my daughter will too. She is very curious, smart and social.

Today, however, she faced a tough lesson. A little girl she used to play with was visiting from another state. We set up a play date and it didn’t go very well. My daughter wanted to play but the other girl didn’t want to play with her. She has come up against situations like this a few times, usually with kids she knows from preschool or nearby playgrounds, kids who’ve moved on to a different school or a new neighborhood. I know this is something she will confront over and over again.

So I talked with my daughter about friendships and how even if there are some kids who don’t want to be friends with her, there will always be others who do. I told her to focus on the kids who do want to play with her and not spend too much time thinking about those who don’t. We named a few of the friends she plays with now who were also at the playground, other friends she has who weren’t there, along with a couple kids at her new school who have already shown an interest in her.

Looking back at the many years I spent in school, and all the things I learned, I am reminded the most important lessons didn’t come from a book. I recall the sting of rejection, of wanting a certain person to like me, to want to be my friend or date me and how awful I felt when they didn’t return my interest. I spent too many hours worrying about what was wrong with me, what I could do differently to “get them to like me.” Should I dress the way they do? Or listen to the music they like? Should I pretend to like football games when I would rather spend the afternoon kayaking in my canoe at the lake?

Along the way I made more poor choices than I care to admit. I wish I’d felt more self-confident, that it was okay if I was picked first for the spelling bee but last for a softball game, and it didn’t matter if my “hip-huggers” didn’t fit like they did on the “popular” girls who were slimmer-hipped and less curvy than me. I could have saved myself a lot of grief!

I don’t know how to get this message, one of the most important in life, across to my daughter. I never talk about whatever insecurities I might have about my appearance in front of her. I try to overhype her strength, smarts, and tenacity. The other day she said to me, “Don’t I look pretty today?” because she was wearing a fancy dress and I responded, “You look pretty every day. Your dress is lovely, but you are a beautiful girl inside and out no matter what you are wearing!” This is the absolute truth, except I know that truth will get twisted, by her peers or ads that emphasize you can’t be pretty unless you wear this or look like that. There will be pressure to be pretty over all the other qualities that matter so much more.

Which is why we also talk a lot about positive qualities in people, how it’s better to be caring and how people don’t like it if you’re sassy or mean. I’ve told her when she’s at school, if other kids are mean to her she should walk away, and if other kids are mean to someone else–even if they say mean things when the other person isn’t around–you should still walk away, or tell a teacher. We focus on what it means to be a good friend.

One of the things I looked forward to as a mom was the chance to experience all of this again. I wanted to see my child navigate her way through school, friendships, learn about herself and the world. It’s not always easy, whether you’re experiencing it yourself or watching someone you love. Sometimes, in fact, it’s downright painful. But you know what? That whole messy, crazy, mixed-up world we live in? That’s life.

kids kindergarten

Here’s to a new chapter!

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

What if I’d never adopted? Three ways being a mom changed my life

August 17, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

What if I’d never adopted? This is a question I’ve asked myself on more than one occasion, usually after a really tough day with my kid or when I hear my kid-free friends are embarking on some exotic vacation. First I feel envious, then I feel conflicted. I chose this path, right? Not only chose but struggled mightily even when the forces seemed against us. I chose to become a mom when I was well past the age most people become parents, old even by standards in the world of adoption where people opt for single parenthood or decide to adopt after experiencing years of infertility. I was, and I am, at the age when most people want to travel the world, immerse themselves in new hobbies, and hang out more with friends without the “inconvenience” of a child. Hiking in the Himalayan Mountains? Sipping Sauvignon blanc at a bistro in Paris? A quiet weekend at home with my husband? Sounds pretty fantastic until I consider tossing my five-year-old into the mix.

What was I thinking does indeed cross my mind when someone asks: “Have you done the math?” which I’ve been asked on more than one occasion, like somehow it never dawned on me that I’m 10-20 years older than most of the mamas with kids my daughter’s age. In hindsight, I confess many of the scenarios I envisioned will not be possible, at least until our daughter is older and maybe never (though I try to banish the thought) because of some of her personal hurdles. Taking a cruise down the Rhone River with a kid who gets antsy five minutes into a car ride may not be the best idea. Biking through Burgundy? Well, first she has to learn to ride and then what to do with her while we’re putting down a few glasses of Pinot?

Yes, I know lots of families travel all over the world with kids in tow, pursue new hobbies while their toddler sleeps and squeeze in the occasional date night. But part of being an older parent means most of our relatives who might watch our child while we go off on a romantic weekend are gone. School schedules preclude lengthy excursions and it might not be long before hobbies compete with homework.

This said, I frequently take stock of things I’ve done (and do!), places I’ve gone, and people who are my close friends and realize most of it came about because we chose to become parents.

Travel: We made six trips to Armenia with lengthy stopovers in Paris, Amsterdam, and London. How many people go to Armenia, right? Not to mention those travels were the reason I started Pampers and Pakhlava in the first place–thank you Wanderlust and Lipstick! And we still travel, albeit to less far-flug locales and many times with less-than-favorable results (Go the F**k to Sleep! Sorry Mom.)
Friends: Many of my friendships in Seattle and beyond exist because—and only because—I decided to become a mom. Had I not walked down the path to motherhood, I never would have sought out the moms group in my neighborhood. I started going to the monthly Mom’s Night Out a couple years before I officially obtained the mom title. Although the founding group has long since disbanded, there are a few of us who still relish that night each month when we head out to Central Cinema, order adult beverages and eat too much popcorn. A number of my friendships are with other adoptive moms. We’ve bonded over stories of our journeys and some of the unique challenges our kids face. I have friends who hoped to adopt and then didn’t, mom-friends in general and close friends who are not moms and never will be. But most of the moms I know, I know because I became one.
Hobbies: I’ve always loved taking pictures. Along with gardening, birds and being out in nature, photography is one of the hobbies that sustains me. But I would not be one of the Mamas with Cameras if I wasn’t a mama myself. I have learned so much from these women. They challenged me to try a 365 Project, answer my many random questions, and are an ever-constant source of inspiration. Just like Mom’s Night Out, I was a regular at their monthly meet-ups before we adopted our daughter. I remember how hard it was, at the end of each meeting, when moms would pass around photos of their kids at a time when being a mom was just a glint in my eye.

Would my life be equally rich had I not become a parent? I’m absolutely sure it would be, different of course, but I know there would be outlets for my passions, close friends and activities I love. I would travel, though it’s unlikely Armenia would have been on my itinerary. But I definitely would not be the person I am now, which is why—for better or worse—I’m grateful this is the direction I chose when I came to the fork in the road.

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

366 Project: Four things I’ve learned during my sixth month

August 12, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

I’m still taking pictures every day, loving it and learning so much! Here are a few of my takeaways from my 366 Project during the month of July.

It’s all about the light: Low light, sunny days, skies filled with clouds. Each offers its own challenges and rewards. The blue tones in dusk are so moody and lovely but then I struggle with getting my camera settings right. A bright sunny day–fantastic–until I realize the dark shadows obscure my daughter’s face or blow out all the details on a leaf. Clouds and rain, the bane of a Seattleite. Yes the grays can wipe out everything of interest in the sky but then I find colors are more deeply saturated and the shadows softer in my images. I still have so much to learn about how to get the most out of what kind of light each day (or time of the day) brings!

Don’t be afraid to fill the frame: I waited and waited for this peacock to spread his wings but when he did, he was farther away then I would have liked and the background around him was distracting. I decided to tightly crop my photo which put the focus on his colors and patterns in his beautiful feathers. There is always a place for broad beautiful vistas but sometimes, filling the frame with one detail, like just the petals of the flower or your child’s hands playing in the water, really brings home the shot.

Edit, but edit with caution: I like to explore creative ways to select the parts of my photo that tell a story, but I try to be cautious about over-editing. Too many special effects or too much over-processing can ruin the natural beauty already in the picture. That said, sometimes it’s fun to add a bit of drama with a dark background or bump up the color so your subject really pops.

There is so much beauty in our world! This isn’t an epiphany, but I do find that the more I shoot the more I see, and the more I see the more I want to get out my camera. I love watching the seasons change, the ebb and flow of plants and animal life. Nature amazes me. There is always something spectacular to discover around the corner or right in my own backyard.

Here’s July:

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

Seattle’s Knack has your back with unique online gifts that tell a story

August 4, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Looking for the perfect gift? Like a little something to boost your BFF’s spirits after her boyfriend splits and breaks her heart? Maybe a care package to let your first-time camper know mom misses him? Or a goody bag for your best man, the one guy you can always count on to make a killer craft cocktail? If you’re like me and can’t bear the thought of ordering one more generic bouquet, I’ve got a hot tip for you. Create your own unique customized gift with Knack!

Knack is an online gift website, but that’s not how I discovered them. As it turns out, their headquarters are practically around the corner from where I live, a block away from Old School Frozen Custard, my favorite neighborhood ice cream shop. I’d driven by a number of times and noticed their intriguing window displays. One day, on my way to get a pint of ice cream, I decided to check them out. I am so glad I did because I found the online gift store of my dreams featuring high quality artisan products, many from businesses in the Pacific Northwest.

Founded by Laura Jennings, and launched November 2015, Knack started with the question: What would it look like to create an e-commerce experience that celebrated the customer as the creative force? Laura, who previously worked at Microsoft for over a decade, was inspired by a candy shop in Barcelona that allowed people to make witty custom labels for candy jars. She thought it was such a great way to give shoppers a way to be inventive with their purchases.

Laura told me Knack was built around the customer first and gifts came second. “Can you think of a time when you gave someone a gift you were so excited about, you couldn’t wait for them to open it? Their eyes will just light up at the memories. For us, that’s the essence of giving—finding great joy in knowing you’ve nailed it with a gift that’s absolutely perfect for someone.”

Knack—How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. First, in the gift collections on their site, you will find pre-curated gifts that Knack creates. Browse ingenious collections like Bridesmaids & Besties, Outdoor Fun and For the Bartender. You can also edit your gift and customize by adding, removing, or exchanging products. Or, if you’re a DIY sort of person, you can build your gift from scratch by picking any and all of the products you like, in any number or combination. You even get to name your creation. Sound daunting? No worries because Knack’s user-friendly website walks you through each step. If you get stuck, like I did with a packaging question, Knack offers online LiveChat, email and old-school customer service by phone. I found their staff to be super friendly, helpful and knowledgeable.

The second reason I fell hard for Knack? Their artisan products. Laura emphasized, “We look for artisans with fantastic stories, and then get to know them so we can help share those stories. Our merchants are the kind of people who’ve taken over a fourth generation family business, taught themselves a craft, quit their days jobs and moved across the country to pursue their passions.”

With over 130 merchants and more than 1200 products, Knack covers a lot of gifting ground. Just take a look the adorable gift set for kids with a Crayon & Notecard Travel Folio designed just for Knack by Impwear, a Seattle business I’m keen on, who made the cute Impwear rooster hat I scored for my daughter to wear when we visited Kauai. Of course, since I live in Washington State, I’m really impressed with all the merchants who hale from the Pacific Northwest.

Some of Knack’s best sellers are in their bar and cocktail line. I loved the Nightcap Joybar Towel designed exclusively for Knack by John Choe of That Black Dot, and the blue beverage glassware by Usful Glassworks, handcrafted using “upcycled” bottles in Boise, Idaho by participants in the Usful Glassworks job training program.

Craft fairs like Renegade Craft and Urban Craft Uprising are where many of the artisans Knack represents are found. They also discover businesses by word of mouth and through social media. I was really glad to hear that many of the businesses in Knack’s merchant community are owned by women and local–sometimes really local, like around the corner. Knack also leans toward businesses committed to a sustainable or philanthropic mission.

Laura says they make great efforts to form a personal connection with their merchants, whether it’s dropping by to pick up a product in person and meeting a grandson playing underfoot, driving out to see honeybee hives, or getting the first glimpse (or taste) of a new prototype they want to show her. It’s this kind of business philosophy that makes me want to shop at Knack and sing their praises. I completely agree with Laura that combining products from all these merchants in a single gift “tells a unique story.” And, as many of my readers know, I love a unique story!

I couldn’t believe how many innovative ideas I found on their site, and I am a picky gift giver who really tries to find just the right thing. Knack suggests gifts you might like by product, artisan, and category. Remember the BFF I mentioned earlier with the recent breakup? You could send her the Write Him Off or The 4 Stages Of A Breakup box. Your little camper? Love & Kisses From Home. Best man extraordinaire? Retreat to the Man Cave or Bloody Mary Mornings. I spent a lot of time perusing ideas on the site simply because of Knack’s hilarious gift set titles (yes, I’m a sucker for that sort of thing), but even more so because they have a such broad audience appeal: men, women, kids, old, young, risque, traditional…it’s all there, right at your fingertips.

Last, but definitely not least, is Knack’s gorgeous packaging. Once again they knock it out of the park with several cool options like the ‘K’ box below. From a simple gift bag to a clear plastic paint can, the gifts are beautifully displayed. You can add a personal message to the recipient of your gift at checkout, and—I thought this was really clever—Knack includes a “Knackbook,” with a table of contents and stories about the artisans represented by the products you picked.

Guess what? Knack even sends you a photo of your “precious cargo.” What a fantastic feature. Here’s what my gift—Serenity—looked like, tiny Tillandsia plant and all.

So go check out KNACKSHOPS.COM’s website and their blog which highlights featured merchants and gift ideas. You can also find Knack on Facebook and Instagram.

Knack’s showroom is located in Seattle, in a building that was once the site of Fran’s Chocolate Factory. How cool is that? If you’re local, after placing your order online, you have the option to pick up your gift in-store. Or, for $8, you can have it delivered by a PostMates courier, in minutes. Of course you don’t have to be a Seattleite to take advantage of Knack’s creative and fun experience, just hop online wherever you are!

What are you waiting for? Go create a really cool gift!

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

When life gives you lemons, write a good story: The wedding that almost wasn’t

July 28, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Imagine a beautiful summer evening in the Pacific Northwest, the sun setting behind the Olympic Mountains. Guests are seated, waiting for a wedding to begin. Finally the music begins and the bride appears, a vision in white. Eyes tear and hearts beat fast with anticipation and excitement. Before long, the couple is married and post-wedding festivities begin.

Inevitably something always goes wrong. The groom can’t put the bride’s wedding ring on her finger. The flower shop confuses the order and bouquets meant to arrive in shades of red and gold are instead lavender and white. Most big events rarely go down without a hitch. As for our wedding? The hitch was we almost didn’t get hitched. But we sure got a good story.

The truth is, some of life’s best stories rise from the ashes of near disasters. Take a look at the photo above. See what’s missing from our wedding boat–where we spent our first moments together as husband and wife? One oar, the perfect metaphor for our wedding.

First there was Bed and Breakfast where we’d initially hoped to hold our wedding, house our immediate family and spend our wedding night. Six months before the wedding, we got an email from the owner telling us how very sorry she was but she could no longer host us. The City Council on Bainbridge Island, the destination for our impending nuptials, had decided to reinforce a previously unenforced ordinance. B&Bs could no longer host big events on their property without paying a hefty ($5K if I recall) permit fee.

And there we were, six months and counting down, with a caterer, florist, photographer and officiate all confirmed–for July 28, 2007. Facing the task of finding a site, at this late date, with our date available, seemed impossible. But find one we did, when–out of the blue–I asked the owner of a B&B in Poulsbo, where good friends were vacationing, if she might be open to hosting a wedding on her property, a lovely farm with a small pond, views of the Olympics, come chickens and a llama or two. She said yes! We also found another B&B nearby where we could spend our wedding night. Hallelujah! We were back in business.

Then, one month before our wedding the B&B where we hoped to spend our first night as husband and wife emailed us to say how very sorry they were but they’d decided to retire from the B&B business altogether and so we would need to find another location to stay on our wedding night. The owner of our new wedding site immediately sent out emails to all her contacts in the B&B world and, miraculously, she found a spot…a room above a garage in a brand-new B&B. We thanked our lucky stars we wouldn’t be sleeping in the barn with the llamas.

Finally, the pièce de ré·sis·tance–OUR WEDDING DAY–and the moment my husband-to-be received a phone call from our officiant telling him how very sorry she was but she wouldn’t be there to officiate! T-minus three hours to our ceremony. Yes, you read that right. Her story was she’d been in a car accident, was on medication and therefore could not drive to the ferry. I was in Eleven Winery on Bainbridge, blissfully amidst a wine tasting prior to my appointments to get my hair and makeup done.

It’s hard to really sum up what goes through a bride-to-be’s mind when she’s face with the reality that her wedding might go belly up. I’m sure the number of times this happens is infinitesimal. But it happened to me. I felt angry, ripped off, bereft. Was the universe trying to tell me something…like maybe I wasn’t destined for marriage?

But sometimes fates conspire for, rather than against you. The winery owner’s wife, who was conducting the tasting, came up with the brilliant idea (I am eternally grateful to this day) to post an “Urgent: Officiate needed“ post on a the island’s moms’ website (I love you mamas!!). We got two responses. One respondent, Debbie, had performed only one wedding for a coworker but read the posting and wanted to ensure we got married. T-minus 30 minutes before the ceremony, she appeared at our venue–our officiate angel–adorned in a robe and stole, ready to help us say “I do.” Tears streamed down my face in disbelief, to the chagrin of my makeup artist. Maybe we were to be married after all.

Clouds had filled the sky, threatening rain on one of the four weekends each year deemed to be the “most likely to be sunny” in the greater Seattle area. Yet another ominous sign. But at 5:30, the time we’d set to begin our ceremony, the sun burst out, and I walked towards the light and the man I love.

Forty-eight guests, a few llamas…and one heron, watched from the sidelines as we said our vows and pledged–to stand beside each other–for better or worse. And then…

WE WERE MARRIED!

I wish I could say all’s well that ends well, but I should add that our officiate also “could not find” our marriage license so we were sort of married in the eyes of our beloved family and friends, but not really married–at least not until either our ill-fated officiate found the license and we could sign and file it with the City of Seattle. If we couldn’t pull that off in 30 days they’d have to issue us a new one. And if we failed in this regard, well then we’d have to go “get married” all over again.

Off we went on our honeymoon, sending increasingly desperate emails: Have you found it yet? We wanted that license…and our deposit back (Did I mention our officiate was supposed to be our “day of” wedding coordinator as well?). Our emails went unanswered until we finally said we’d take our ex-officiate to small claims court. She agreed to meet my husband (wait, he wasn’t really–yet) at his place of work at 5:00 on a Friday. Amazingly enough, she materialized, with a check in hand to cover our deposit but…no license.

On Monday, there we were, back at the City of Seattle’s Marriage Licensing Department. We need our license reissued. The empathetic clerk told us it was “the second worst story he’d ever heard.” I hate to think what might have been the first.

We FedEx’d our license to Pittsburgh, where our best man lived, so he could sign it. He signed and FedEx’d it back. Then we made a date with our new officiate to meet us at the winery and sign our marriage license. I stuffed my wedding gown into a backpack and me and my Mr-to-be hopped on a ferry to Bainbridge Island. I did a quick-change in the bathroom and there we were–signature, signature, signature. TA-DA. We were married!! For real. Our wedding license, now framed, hangs on our bedroom wall. The date of our ceremony: July 28, 2007. The date we got a “witness”: August 11, 2007.

I’ve shared this story countless times with friends, relatives and strangers. One version or another has appeared on my blog, nine years running. And yet every time I tell our story, it blows my mind because it’s just so crazy, so completely inconceivable, that had I not actually lived it, I would never believe it was true. Our wedding–the wedding that almost wasn’t. But our story? I’ve never heard one better.

Happy Anniversary to us! Nine years and counting.

It’s all about the journey,

Beth