Three tricks to keep a squirmy kid busy on a plane

May 26, 2016 by Beth Shepherd

Picture this. You are on a plane, 35,000 feet in the air. You have hours to go before you reach your destination. Passengers are giving you dirty looks. Your patience is wearing thin and you worry you might lose your mind (and your temper) before your flight is over. The cause? Your squirmy kid. What’s a traveling parent to do? Zip ties? Just kidding, although my husband and I have discussed this option more than once.

Doesn’t she look calm, sweet and innocent?

I am writing this post because I am the mom childless adults fear. The mom of the very loud, very active, and very impatient child. The child who, I might add, never naps on a plane (okay, once, when we adopted her and returned from Armenia). One of the worst scenarios I can imagine is putting this child in an enclosed metal tube, holding her hostage in an uncomfortable seat, restricted by an equally uncomfortable seat belt. For hours. Just thinking about this makes me want to give up traveling, which is unfortunate because I love to travel.

Attempting to climb over the seat.

As a kid-free traveler for many years, I completely understand–sympathetic as one may want to be–how frustrating it is to have your seat kicked every ten seconds or find yourself in the row beside a screaming child. Now that we are parents, no matter how much I tell myself people ‘get it’–or at least those with kids get it–I still feel hyper-aware each time my daughter stands up and looks over the seat or screams for any extended period of time. There have been flights, more than one, where my husband has held her in a tight embrace as she kicked and hollered at the top of her lungs. Not much fun for anyone, including us.

Not child torture. Just having fun in the galley where we’ve spent lots of time.

On one of our trips, when our daughter was a toddler, we filled Ziplock bags with a lifesaver, earplugs and a photo of our daughter that read: I am 16 months old. Airplanes are new to me, so thank you for your patience if I make too much noise. We passed these bags out to the people in the rows beside, behind, and in front of us. People laughed and I felt like our gesture let us off the hook for anything that might follow during our flight!

You have been warned.

I have tried all sorts of tips that have been touted by fellow parent travelers, like giving my kid Benadryl in the hopes it would knock her out–nope, and antihistamines even make some kids hyper. I’ve brought along all sorts of toys she thought were a snooze…but, sadly, nothing that made her snooze. Every kid is different, of course, and you will want to make adjustments depending on the age of you kid (or kids), but here are three tricks we’ve tried to keep our squirmy kid busy on the plane.*

Inside that cute ladybug backpack? Ammo enough (we hope) for one flight’s worth of fun.

Backpack novelties

Right before our trip, I smuggle my daughter’s special travel backpack out of her closet and fill it with novel toys and games: new stickers, lacing cards, paper and crayons, a small puzzle, and magnet play boards like Magnetic Whiskers. Melissa & Doug On The Go Water Wow are also fun, “paint” without the fuss and muss, small and packable.

I do not let her see anything in her backpack until our plane is off the ground and at cruising altitude. The curiosity and anticipation is sometimes enough to hold her through the first 30 minutes. I cross my fingers and hope the goodies inside will keep her busy for the rest of the flight, if we’re lucky and if we dole them out slowly. You can get all sorts of cool geegaws and gadgets on Amazon.com, and Safeway, Walgreens, Bartell or The Dollar Store are all great places for toys on the cheap. Note: If you let older kids pack their own backpacks it’s smart to see what’s going in there.

Say ‘Hi’…whether you want to or not!

New videos and games

Make sure to bring your Kindle Fire, like the Fire Kids Edition Tablet. Load it with videos and games, preferably some they haven’t seen before or that are generally off-limits in your home except for special occasions. Like taking trips. We have worked the “You can watch Frozen!” angle on more than one occasion. Don’t have a portable device like the Kindle or a DVD player? Buy one. Now.

Videos should be accompanied by headphones, not earbuds which can easily fall out and might not cancel background noise for the kid and video noise for passengers sitting nearby. I have been on airplanes where I was subjected to more Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles audio in a few hours than I’d heard in a lifetime. Cowabunga, dude. One risk is that some kids, such as ours, will then talk very loudly, yell even, because their headphones make them unaware of the volume of their voice.

What gourmet dining looks like when you’re two.

Yummy snacks

There’s not a kid alive who isn’t wooed by a good snack, especially it’s a treat they only get on special occasions. Of course the caveat is that some kids, like ours, get pretty worked up from high-sugar snacks so this trick can backfire if you’re not careful. Plus, chocolate melts and little hands are in close quarters with a myriad of things that can easily be stained. Animal crackers, popcorn, and potato chips are a few that take awhile to get through. Having to reach inside the bag or box, eat and repeat extends the fun. Now is not the time to be concerned about nutrition and of course, and you can always supplement with apple slices, cheese cubes and raisins. Of course, a lollypop is never a bad idea, particularly during take-off and landing when sucking and swallowing can help open little ear canals.

One last bit of advice. Plan your flight in 15-minute slots. For a three-hours in the air you need around ten activities to keep little ones with short attention spans entertained. Take-off and landing are typically the “stars of the show,” which gives you a 15-minute reprieve on the front and back ends of your journey. We spent a lot of time on one flight discussing the wheel well while waiting for the plane’s wheels to descend!

Happy travels to all the moms and dads out there–and GOOD LUCK!

Bon Voyage!!

It’s all about the journey,

Beth

*Disclaimer: I did say “try.” Which doesn’t always mean we were successful.

Two planes, 26 hours and 6,336 miles

April 8, 2013 by Beth Shepherd

We set our alarm for 3:30 a.m. and awoke, bleary-eyed, to what would be the start of a very long day. A full, luminous moon was the only light in the pitch black sky. Two floors below us, Tumanyan Street, lay silent: no horns blaring, no cacophony of people passing below on the sidewalk. It felt as though all of Yerevan was asleep, except for us.

Big Papa rolled out of bed with a groan. On soft feet, so as not to wake Baby Bird just yet, he padded over to the bathroom. I heard him turn the squeaky handles to the shower, grunt and then, in a loud whisper say: NO water.

During our two week stint in this apartment, we’d experienced water “issues.” We would wake up, one of us would make coffee and the other would saunter to the bathroom only to find there was no hot water. We’d wait a few minutes and try again and then again, until eventually one of us would call our translator and she would call the building management and they would send a man to reset the hot water heater.

This became a daily routine. Every morning we would wait until a respectable hour to make our phone call, and sometime before noon someone would make an appearance and fix it. Once or twice we felt brave or impatient enough to bathe under a bracingly cold stream of water.

But today, on the morning of our departure, before we would spend the next 26 hours traveling 6,336 miles, half way around the world to our destination—home—with an infant, there was no hot water. In fact, it turned out there was no water at all. No water for a shower, even a cold shower, no water coming out of the tap. Thankfully we still had a bit of bottled water left, albeit only a half-bottle, enough to make Baby Bird’s formula and—if we were lucky—enough for one espresso-sized cup of Armenian coffee for each of us. And we really needed that one cup.

We were scheduled to leave for the airport at 4:30 a.m. There wasn’t time to do anything about the shower. I dampened a washcloth with a sprinkling of bottled water and gave myself a sponge bath.

Big Papa made a bottle for Baby Bird and I got her up. I hated waking her and hoped she would sleep once our plane was airborne. Our first flight, which left at 6:30 a.m. from Yerevan to London, was close to five hours long. Then we would have a five hour layover in Heathrow Airport before boarding our final, 10 hour flight to Seattle. After passing through U.S. Customs, we would need to meet with a U.S. Immigration officer and catch a taxi home. We’d figured we’d be home, at our house, around 5:00 p.m., Easter Sunday.

When our agency’s attorney arrived, he handed us a large manila envelope. THE envelope we’d heard so much about during our four year adoption journey, the envelope from the U.S. Embassy in Yerevan containing all the adoption documents U.S. Immigration would need to process our daughter as a new U.S. citizen. We were told do not open this envelope under any circumstances, do not let it out of our hands, and do not let anyone else open it until it is safely in the hands of a U.S. Immigration officer.

We drove to the airport in the darkness, talking about the trips we’d made to Armenia, the emotional upheaval of our failed adoption, our deep appreciation to all the people who helped us along the way, and our elation that we were finally parents. I felt sad watching the lights of Yerevan fade into the distance. As much as I wanted to get home and begin our life as a family, I knew I would always feel a longing for Armenia, the curve of the hills on the road to Gyumri, the rose-colored tuff of the buildings. I would miss the people we came to know, and crave the amazing Armenian food we’d be hard-pressed to find in Seattle. Even though I was certain we would come back one day with our daughter, that day could be years away.

At the airport we checked our luggage and made sure we indeed had seats on our flight, including a “lap seat” for our daughter. Obtaining berth for her on our flights had been no easy matter. Before we left for our court trip, Big Papa and I had reserved two seats, one for each of us, on two different flights, one flight with British Midlands from Yerevan to London and one flight with British Air from London to Seattle. Our travel agent told us we couldn’t reserve a lap seat for Baby Bird until she was legally our daughter, but to simply give her a call when we had her passport and she would be added on to our ticket.

That’s what we did, and though she tried, she was unable to reach British Air. “Go to the British Midlands office in Yerevan and see what they can do.” And so we did, and what they told us was that they could reserve her lap ticket for the first leg of our trip, but not for the second leg with British Air. Apparently British Midlands and British Air ticketing systems were unable to “communicate” with each other because they did not share codes. The ticket agent told us we could try to get her a seat when we arrived in London…but, “if we couldn’t, we’d miss our connecting flight.”

The thought of being stuck in London for more than the five hour layover was unimaginable. Baby Bird only had a visa to enter the U.S. so we couldn’t go through customs and leave the terminal in any other country except the United States of America. Visions of “The Terminal” with Tom Hanks flashed through my mind. In this film, an eastern immigrant finds himself stranded in JFK airport, and must take up temporary residence there.

We didn’t know what to do, but the travel agent said that British Midlands and British Air were merging their ticketing systems, tentatively on Friday March 6, 48 hours before we needed to board our plane. The only thing we could do was cross our fingers and wait.

Friday arrived, and merely hours before our “interview” at the U.S. Embassy in Yerevan (where we would receive a visa for Baby Bird) we made another trip to British Midlands. I’m sure the agent could see the worry in our faces. She smiled and said the two airlines had indeed worked out the kinks in their systems, and started sharing codes, which meant we were able to get her a seat on my lap for the first flight and a “cot” on the second flight.

And now here we were the three of us, about to board the first flight of our long journey home. We hugged our attorney, and walked through security, stopping in the duty free shop to buy a much coveted bottle of 20-year Armenian brandy.

“You won’t be able to take this on your flight out of London. It’s a customs’ regulation,” the clerk at the cash register told us.

“That doesn’t make sense,” I replied, feeling annoyed. “We’ve taken brandy home on all our previous flights through Paris.”

“It’s your decision, but you’ll be taking your chances with an expensive bottle of brandy.”

We decided to take our chances. He zipped up our bottle in a duty free puffy plastic bag and we headed for our gate.

Sitting in the hard plastic seats, waiting for our boarding call, I could see Mt. Ararat standing tall in the distance, lit by the rising sun. My stomach was in knots. Two flights, 16 hours flying time, five hour layover, 12 hour time difference, one 11-month old baby. Big Papa later told me how scared he felt, thinking about what we were taking on, the flight alone, never mind parenthood itself.

As our plane pulled away from the gate and we taxied onto the runway, I glanced at Big Papa and Baby Bird, my family, as my eyes brimmed with tears. I squeezed his hand tightly. We were homeward bound!

Plane ride to parenthood

March 12, 2013 by Beth Shepherd

One year ago, on March 12, we received a call from our adoption agency with the date we were to appear in court to finalize the adoption of our daughter. Less than 24 hours later (yes, less than 24 HOURS LATER!), Big Papa and I boarded a plane headed to London, where we would stay for two days and two nights before boarding a second plane to Armenia. Only a handful of people knew where we were going and why: Big Papa’s boss, our cat sitter, our pediatrician-to-be, my mother and sister, Big Papa’s cousins (who offered to help us out when we first got back home), and one close friend.

We had waited to take this plane ride for nearly four years and the idea that it was finally happening felt surreal. Only a year before, our pending adoption of another baby girl had fallen through, merely ten days before our scheduled flight. I found it hard to settle myself and put away the fear that something bad would happen this time too.

My mind revisited all the scenarios we’d faced along the way: two referrals, five trips to Armenia, multiple updates to our files and dossier, several trips to our local USCIS (U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services) office for several sets of fingerprints, numerous visits to our bank to have paperwork notarized, and a number of road trips to Olympia (our state’s capitol) to have our documents apostilled.

I recalled the RFE (Request for Evidence) that had us gripping edge of our seats in the cliffhanger that was our prior adoption attempt, the interminable angst as we waited for nearly three months to get resolution when that adoption was interrupted, the uncertainty of how to “undo” our Article 5 (final Hague approval from the U.S. Department of State), a situation–as we were told by our immigration agent–that no prospective adoptive parents had faced before, and then the crazed race to update our paperwork yet one more time so we could be eligible for a new referral.

Reverently, I remembered the soul-wrenching isolation I felt, and the deep dark depression, when I couldn’t share what was happening–what had happened–even with some of my closest friends, for fear that we might jeopardize the future of our adoption. I couldn’t talk about it. I couldn’t blog about it. The only thing I could do was stew about it.

I thought about all the excitement, disappointment, hope and heartache that led to this moment. And yet here we were, passports and suitcases in hand, getting on a plane, literally on our way to parenthood!

That’s when it hit me. We were really on our way: TO PARENTHOOD!

Leavin’ on a jet plane: How to pack for an international adoption trip

August 10, 2010 by Beth Shepherd

For those who follow my blog, first let me say that I’m not the one going on a trip…yet. However, enough people have asked me what I plan to bring when the moment arrives, that I decided to do a bit of research and compile a list that might be useful if you are about to embark on the exciting adventure to bring your child home.

I remember when my sister adopted from China eleven years ago. She said she needed an entire suitcase devoted exclusively to medicine and the several thousand dollars in newly minted bills she was told to bring along, and couldn’t decide if she felt more like a bank robber or a traveling doctor. The truth is that what you will need to pack may vary considerably depending on the:

Country you are adopting from
Age of your adopted child(ren)
Season/time of year (both at your destination and at your home location in the U.S.)

Traveling to Russia in the winter, for example, is going to require a lot more warm clothing for both you and your child than, say, traveling to Ethiopia in the summer. Likewise, returning from India to Seattle in the fall might necessitate light baby clothing in-country, but something warmer and more substantial when transferring planes and getting to your home once you arrive back in the U.S. If your child is an infant, bringing instant formula is essential for plane travel whereas you might pack cereal for a toddler. Diapers, a folding umbrella stroller or clothing can be easily purchased in some countries but not in others. Therefore, all the items mentioned in this post are merely suggestions. Every international adoption trip, just like every adoption, has its own customized packing list to match its unique story.

Before I launch into an itemized list (here is one of those times when I am grateful for my list-making abilities), I want to share one of the most important tips I heard regarding plane travel there and back. Make sure that any items that could be considered ‘essential’ are packed as carry on in case your luggage is lost. Murphy’s Law of adoption travel (or any air travel for that matter) stipulates that if you really need it and forget to bring it with you on the plane, your luggage will inevitably arrive late, never, or at another destination altogether.

Also, remember to leave a bit of room in your luggage for mementos you may purchase on your trip. Although you can always donate extra diapers you don’t feel you’ll need or clothes that turn out to be too big or small for your child, having a bit of ‘wiggle room’ is always a good idea.

Speaking of luggage, most international airlines have reduced the weight limit of checked baggage from 70 pounds to 50 pounds or less (for economy class) depending on the airline! Be sure to weigh your bags before you head to the airport (take them to a packing/shipping store or be brave and get on a home scale holding your luggage).

Your adoption agency may also have suggestions for items that people have found useful on previous trips. And, if not, there are a number of articles online that offer country-specific suggestions for international adoption travel.

Documents – Take all documents in your carry-on!

Copy of your dossier
Passport and visa (if required)
Expand-a-file pocket labeled: Travel, Embassy, Forms, General info, Medical, Baby, Mementos, Language, Thank You Notes, etc.
Money: in many countries, it is not possible to cash traveler’s checks and/or ATM machines are not available. Try to find out if there are any fees or expenses you will need cash for and budget accordingly. A money belt for carrying cash is a good idea. In some countries you will need “crisp new bills” in denominations of $20 and $50. If this is the case, call your bank to request needed cash at least two weeks before you leave. Many banks do not keep much pristine cash on hand and will need to order it for you.
Names and phone numbers for essential in-country contacts, U.S. Embassy or Consulate Office
Names, phone numbers and email addresses for essential stateside contacts; a neighbor , friend or family member who can access your home or wire you funds, your bank, your U.S. adoption agency, your social worker and/or attorney, international adoption doctor, insurance company, etc.
Photograph of the translator, driver or person meeting you at the airport (though chances are they’ll have your photo from your passport)
Electronics – Take all electronics in your carry-on
Cell phone with SIM card that works internationally or prepaid international phone
Camera, extra batteries, charger, flash drives for back up
Laptop
International converter (for international outlets and electrical service)
Flashlight
Video camera (optional)
Travel Alarm Clock (everyone says the baby is a sufficient alarm clock!)
Batteries: extras for your electronic devices as batteries can be hard to come by in some countries

Medical Supplies and toiletries – take what you can in carry-on (remember that liquids are limited to 3 oz. per item so you may need to find, or create, travel-sized amounts)

Again, note that medical conditions vary from child to child and families adopting from certain countries are more likely to experience some conditions over others.

Baby prescriptions:

Antibiotic (in powder form which pharmacist will give you) and pre-measured distilled water to go with it (mix exactly as directed; put distilled water in checked baggage)
Prescription cream for scabies, ringworm cream

Baby non-prescription:

Baby Tylenol and Motrin (know beforehand under what circumstances you would choose either to use)
Lotrimin AF for diaper yeast infection (the tube will say it’s for athlete’s foot, and it is, but it’s a non-prescription antifungal recommended by pediatricians)
Hydrocortisone cream (half or one percent) for rashes
Pedialyte replacement for diarrhea (there is a powdered brand that you can reconstitute called Kaolectrolyte
Lice shampoo and comb (pack in checked baggage)
Pediatric cough syrup
Thermometer
Oragel
Glycerin suppositories for constipation in infants
Nail clipper
Nose syringe
Syringe-type dropper or medicine spoon
Baby wipes
Baby shampoo and lotion (pack in checked baggage)
Diaper Rash Cream
Playtex bottles with drop-in, disposable BPA-free liners (no need to wash bottles, just nipples), and several nipple of various speeds. Remember the water will likely not be safe to drink so you will be using bottled water to make bottles.
Diapers: At least 5-7/day; you might be able to diapers get in-country but it’s still a good idea to carry some as disposable diapers bought in other countries are often not as good quality as in the U.S. Often new babies have diarrhea and go through many diapers per day.
Formula: Chances are you will be able to buy baby formula in your child’s country, the type he is accustomed to; but, you may also want to pack a little of your own.
Electric hot pot or heating element to boil water (tea for adults or instant soup) or to sterilize nipples for baby bottle
Plastic tongs for retrieving baby bottle nipples from boiling water

Adults for carry-on:

Regular prescriptions for the adults traveling plus Cipro for each adult
Non-prescription for adults: Neosporin, Baindaids, Immodium, Pepto-Bismal, Nyquil/Dayquil, Mylicon, Mucinex D, Eyedrops
Pain medication for adults: Tylenol, Excedrin, Aspirin, Ibuprofen (whichever you favor)
Benadryl and or Zyrtec for allergies
Earplugs and/or eye shade
Lotion (small bottle): bring a baby lotion that can be used for both adults and your child
Tissues/Kleenex
Travel toilet paper
Cleansing cloths with soap (Ponds, etc.)
Hand Sanitizer
Toothbrush/toothpaste
Contacts, saline solution (travel size)
Glasses (and sunglasses)
Lipbalm
Plastic bags (Ziploc) in a few different sizes (even a couple grocery bag size): plastic bags are so useful for many things, like the clothes that end up with baby puke on them at 30,000 feet

Toiletries for checked baggage (or preferably travel sizes for carry-on)

Travel Shampoo/ Conditioner
Brush and/or comb
Hair clips/headband/pony tail holders (something to get hair out of face)
Make Up
Soap/ body wash
Sunscreen
1 extra towel (light weight absorbent towel)

Adult clothing

Note: Choose clothing that that is in neutral colors and goes together. Clothes that you can layer and un-layer that are light-weight, non-wrinkling and dry quickly are best. Many countries have laundry service or you can pack a Ziploc baggie with laundry detergent and either roll wet, clean clothes in a towel to dry or bring a short line of twine for a clothing line.

One article I read on packing light for travel, suggested limiting yourself to 25 articles of clothing (including underwear!). Make sure that every item you bring can be worn at least twice and goes with most of the other clothing you bring.

1 pair of closed-toe, comfortable shoes to wear that are good for walking
If hot weather, one pair comfortable flip-flop/sandals
3 shirts (sleeve length and material depending on weather): of course if you sweat more, you might take more shirts and less pants/skirts
3 pants and/or skirts (depending on your gender and your style preference)
Sweater or light jacket (or sweater plus heavier jacket if cold climate/winter season – many countries do not have central air or heat)
Hat (to block sun etc.)
1 hanging around the room outfit (e.g. sweats or lightweight pants, t-shirt, hoodie)
Socks
Something to sleep in
Underwear for one week
Raincoat
One “nice” outfit for court dates

For women: a colorful pashmina or other large scarf can dress up an outfit and be used as a wrap, or shawl and even double as a pillow. Bring only inexpensive, low maintenance jewelry (e.g. earrings that cannot be pulled out of your ears by a curious baby). Check out this Wanderlust and Lipstick article on ‘Packing tips for women travelers.‘

Important! Take one change of clothes in your carry-on. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard parents tell of bringing a change of clothing onto the plane for the baby if she poops/pukes, but not for themselves if said baby poops/pukes on mama…or if luggage is lost.

Baby clothing and accessories

NOTE: Clothing numbers are based on five to seven day in-country stay. Consider carrying a few different sizes if you don’t know accurate size/weight of your child…you can always donate what you don’t need to the orphanage. Knits and elastic waist items that will wash and dry easily, if needed.

It’s also nice to bring a few gifts for in-country staff (pack in checked baggage): orphanage staff, translator, host, attorney and driver. We like the idea of gifts with “local flavor” – as Seattleites we might bring chocolate bars from Seattle’s ‘Theo Chocolate,’ ferry boat ornaments, smoked salmon and postcards with pictures of the Pacific Northwest.

**Take approximately half the clothing listed below in your carry-on**

8 outfits
8 pjs
Socks –several pairs
1 pair of shoes
5 Bibs
3 knitted caps
5 burp cloths
2 blankets
1 crib sheet
Age appropriate toys (2 rattles, soft book, 2 teething toys): take one each in carry-on
Baby Bjorn, sling (if small infant) or baby carrier of your choice
Head to Toe Fleece Outfit (might only be necessary when landing landed back in the US and needing to switch terminals at then get to our car when home; and, weather depending)
2 Sleep sacks (take just one in carry-on)
Pacifiers (2 different types)
Baby towel
Umbrella stroller (depending on country, can be purchased in country)
Pac ‘n Play (one more thing to carry on, but I have heard several adoptive families say that it was valuable when they traveled…again, depending on distance and time to travel home).

For older child

Age-appropriate toys (maybe something soft and cushy for carry on that would double as a pillow)
Clothes – several changes
Pull-up training underpants…just in case
Picture book with photos of “new home”
Picture ‘Point Book’ (travel book with photos of just about everything – we have one called “Point It: Traveler’s language Kit”) – great to point at what you’re trying to talk about if you don’t know the language (works with adults too!)
Arrange for someone to explain – pre-flight – what they can expect/what is going to happen

Additional Carry-on Items

A few protein or oatmeal bars or other airline-friendly snacks. Bring a few meals worth of comfort food for times you may not feel like leaving your room with your new child. Cup a soup, instant oatmeal, chocolate, granola bars, cheese crackers, beef jerky, and dried fruit are all good choices. Don’t forget a bowl and spoon for your in-room meal!
Water (purchased after security check)
Deck of Cards or travel game (for adults)
Books and/or magazines: Everyone says they tend to bring more than they need (e.g. one)
One in-country guide/travel book (or relevant pages torn out/printed)
Notebook/Journal and pen

Whew! Well, I’m sure this list – while exhausting – is not exhaustive. Adapt, as needed, and if you’re about to jet off and pick up your kiddo:

BON VOYAGE…and Congratulations!!