squash blossoms

Now that I have your attention…

First, full disclosure: my mother reads my blog. I’m hoping she made it past the headline, and hasn’t fainted.

Now for the lurid details: Sorry, this isn’t a blog post about my private life. It’s about the sex life of squash, and how to tell the difference between male and female squash blossoms.

Big Papa and I love squash blossoms. Their light, slightly squashy flavor exemplifies summer. Squash blossoms are delicious stuffed, battered and fried, or simply tossed on salads.

I used to think it was very generous of squash farmers to sell their flowers. Wasn’t each blossom a future squash? If left to its own devices, wouldn’t each lovely baby squash blossom become a full grown adult squash? It seemed like such a shame to sacrifice them for our dining pleasure. Then I learned the truth.

As it turns out, not all squash blossoms become squash and if you have a plot of squash plants running amok, brimming with flowers, guess what? You can eat most of them. Why? Well, some are boys and some are girls. That’s right, squash blossoms come in two genders: male and female.

Only female squash blossoms mature into squash. The male is just there to help the female blossoms get a bun, er squash, in the oven And here’s the beautiful thing: male squash blossoms far outnumber female flowers, which means you can pick (and eat!) male squash blossoms with impunity. Say goodbye to any fear you may have of devouring your future squash crop.

So, how to tell who’s a she and who’s a he? The females typically grow close to the center of the squash plant on low squat stalks that, when fertilized, quickly swell into squash. Male squash blossoms tend to be showy (like males of many other species in nature), numerous and grow on long stems. Plus, you won’t find a tiny squash baby developing behind the male flower head.

Here’s a picture. Can you tell which blossom is the male and which is the female? If not, I’ll tell you. The chick is on the right and the dude is on the left.

It’s that simple. If you’ve got a few baby squashes growing on your vines, it means the guys and gals have already…well, you know. So go ahead and pick the boys, stuff them and fry ‘em up. My apologies guys; it’s nothing personal. That’s just the way it works with squash. Be cautious when you pick them, however. Bees, insects and other little critters think the blossoms are a nifty place to curl up and take a nap, so you could be in for a surprise.

I feel better now that we’ve had this little chat, don’t you? Go forth and multiply…your squash.

Want your pick of more deliciousness? Check out Wanderfood Wednesday!

August is the time of the year when squash recipes run rampant because, well, so is the squash. Sadly, my stunted little plants have thus far managed to eke out exactly one tiny squash. Yes, that’s right: one.

Stir fry, zucchini bread, and stuffed patty pan with squash from the Urban Cabin’s garden will have to wait…those dreams are squashed for the time being. In the meantime, I’ve been making one of my favorite appetizers with squash blossoms purchased at our neighborhood farmer’s market. Yup, blossoms.

Big Papa oft quotes one of my well-worn phrases: “Oooh look, a [name that flower]. And you can eat it too!” There is nothing I like more than nibbling my way through cheery orange calendula, siesta-colored nasturtium and azure blue bachelor buttons which typically adorn our summer weekend salads. So imagine my delight when the super-sized blossoms a squash offers up are in season.

Many people have never heard of eating the flowers from the squash plant, but they have been part of Central American cuisine for thousands of years, because squash are native to the Americas.

They appear in modern Mexican and South American cuisine under the name of flor de calabaza. You’ll find them in quesadillas, soups, and stuffed with fillings. Cooking with squash blossoms is, these days, all part of the trendy foodie rage and you’ll see them showing up in pasta, omelets, frittatas, salads and fritters.

My recipe (so amounts are “a pinch of this and a bit of that”) is something I landed on one day when I found myself with a bit of leftover goat cheese dip (mix a log of goat cheese with a healthy drizzle of olive oil and a few tablespoons of minced, fresh herbs like thyme, chives, basil, rosemary or whatever is handy) and a half-dozen lovely yellow-orange squash blossoms.

Stuff ‘em, I thought! And stuff them I did. I carefully opened up each blossom and plopped in about a tablespoon of herbed goat cheese. Then I took it up a notch and rolled each stuffed blossom in egg (just beat up an egg and put it in a bowl for dipping the blossoms) and coated the eggy blossom with panko bread crumbs (Japanese bread crumbs that are more airy than your garden variety bread crumbs). Swirl some olive oil in the ‘ole skillet and pan fry them to a golden brown state of crispy-on-the-outside, creamy-on-the-inside goodness. I promise you won’t be able to eat just one.

Want to stuff yourself with more? Check out Wanderfood Wednesday!

SEX in the garden!

Squashed