orphans

This morning I read Baby Bird a new book, Olivia and the Fairy Princess. She loves the original Olivia and I’d heard great reports about this book too. In this book, Olivia is having an identity crisis. There are too many ruffled, sparkly princesses around. She wants to do more than just fit in. She wants to stand out. At the end of the story, as Olivia lies in bed unable to sleep, she starts imagining who she could be.

I read aloud to my daughter:

Maybe I could be a nurse and devote myself to the sick and elderly. I could use my brothers to practice bandaging and various other treatments.

Then I turned the page and continued:

Or maybe adopt orphans from all over the world.

I stopped, took a deep breath, and finished reading the book.

As the day went along I found that I couldn’t stop thinking about this one sentence. I had a something else in mind to post today, but now I feel compelled to write about this.

There are many fairy tales with an adoptee in the storyline: Cinderella, Snow White, Pinocchio, and Bambi; the list goes on and on. And, as we all know, there is always a happy ending with the protagonist fulfilling his or her dreams, securing a warm home (if not a castle), finding true love, everlasting happiness, and being accepted as part of a healthy, loving family.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

But the truth is that life—for many– is quite unlike the Disney fantasy. It does make a difference who you are, anything your heart desires may not come to you, and fate is frequently unkind. And there are millions of people, not just orphans, who are unable to find a place to lay their head at night, a meal to fill their belly, and family and friends to love and care for them.

Sometimes, I feel selfish that we chose to shower time, money and attention on making a difference for one, when there are so many in need. It was truly heartbreaking to spend a great deal of time in several orphanages, and see children whose lives are never going to be filled with the opportunities our daughter will have.

For whatever challenges I’ve had or might face, my life is indeed blessed. I live in a beautiful city, inside a cute house with a lovely garden filled with color and nature. Each night I fall asleep in my own bed beside my wonderful husband. While I have lost several friends and family members who were dear to me, I have many incredible friends who sustain me and a family who loves me. I am healthy and fit and eat delicious meals on most nights. I’m able to indulge my interests in photography, gardening, cooking, and writing. I have been able to fulfill some of my dreams: to travel, to marry and to become a mom.

I am one lucky girl.

Happy Thanksgiving to my family, my friends and those of you who faithfully read my blog.

To Big Papa: There are no words to really say how deeply grateful I am to share my life with you.

To Baby Bird: May this, your first Thanksgiving, be the foundation for a life with many more.

For each new morning with its light, for rest and shelter of the night, for health and food, for love and friends, for everything Thy goodness sends.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

1. Thousands and thousands of children in the world are homeless

Every country has orphans. Some countries have hundreds of thousands of orphans. Under the best of circumstances, children would be cared for by their extended biological family or adopted within the country of their birth. But that’s not how things play out for most children who are orphaned.

I believe every child deserves a home, a home where they are loved and cared for. Being able to provide that for a child, even if we’re only able to adopt one child, means there will be one less child who will grow up in an orphanage.

2. Our world is increasingly multi-cultural

Many of my friends are in marriages and partnerships that blend cultures and race. Their children will grow up knowing that they, and many of their friends and classmates, come from similarly diverse backgrounds.

Even in Seattle, a relatively homogenous city, there is increasingly more diversity. Within a few blocks of our house, we have neighbors who are: Indian, Caucasian, African-American, African born, Asian, Eastern European, and Middle Eastern.

My own marriage spans two somewhat disparate cultural backgrounds. We learn from each other and have a much richer life because of it.

3. Opportunities to grow and learn

For me one of the coolest things about adopting internationally is that my world has expanded exponentially. I have been given the opportunity (and the motivation) to learn about another culture: the history, food, religion, social mores, art, music, customs, holidays and so much more!

I am a better person for having traveled this path. The years ahead will undoubtedly continue to offer challenges and even deeper rewards.

4. International (and domestic) adoption is an integral part of my extended family

My niece was adopted from China. My husband’s sister was adopted from Germany and his brother was adopted domestically. It’s one of the reasons—for us—that adoption, particularly international adoption, feels right. I am proud of our extended family, created both by birth and adoption.

5. Travel!

I LOVE to travel (and always wish I could do more of it). And, I write on a travel website. So the fact that travel goes hand-in-hand with international adoption is the icing on the cupcake for me. In fact travel has turned out to be one element of the adoption process that’s been the most fun and adventure-filled.