Pampers and Paklava

The Gift of the Magi

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Bird drawing

As many of you know, I like birds. Big Papa and I have created a backyard habitat to entice them with feeders, birdhouses and an old birdbath. I spend a lot of time (or at least I used to pre-parenthood) taking pictures of birds. And, bird nerd that I am, I even named my daughter after a bird (hence her blog nom de plume, Baby Bird). So when I received a beautiful hand-drawn picture, of the bird that inspired my daughter’s name–from a very special friend–I was deeply touched.

My little friend, R., is only eight-years-old.  R. lives on the other coast so we’ve never met, but I came to know about him because he is the son of someone I met through our adoption journey. We share a unique bond because our birthdays are on the same day. Our friendship began when I started sending him birthday cards on “our” birthday. I remember how much I liked getting mail as a child, especially mail from all the way across the country. Hearing how much R. enjoyed getting a birthday card from someone he’d never met always put a smile on my face.

After we adopted Baby Bird, I sent R.’s mom a copy of the story I’d written for Baby Bird, a story that tells her about the country where she began her life, the city she lived in, and the people who cared for her until we became her parents. In this book, I describe how Big Papa and I chose the name she now bears. R.’s mom told me he was absolutely fascinated with this piece of our daughter’s story, so much so that he drew a picture of “her” bird to send to me.

Recently, I framed my friend’s artwork to hang in Baby Bird’s bedroom. I look forward to the day when she understands where her name came from because then I can tell her the story of a little boy who made two mamas hearts swell with pride and happiness with his simple, yet meaningful, gift.

It isn’t the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it.

~Quoted in The Angels’ Little Instruction Book by Eileen Elias Freeman, 1994

Want to see more gifts from the heart? Check out Delicious Baby Photo Friday.

The gift of [free] time

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Today, during my cycling class, our instructor reminded us that time is a gift. He encouraged us to think about how we use our time and to use it wisely, with purpose and intent. No matter how you look at time, from minute to minute or over the course of a life, time – particularly free time – is a precious gift.

Kittycat clock

What ironic timing this message about time held for me. Big Papa and I had a tiff, barely twelve hours ago, on this exact subject.

I am blessed with the gift of time, at least in terms of “free” time. Right now, I have very few restrictions placed on my days. For the most part, I can come and go as I please. I have the ability to make daily treks to the gym. I am able to spend hours crafting a post for one of my blogs or puttering in the garden.

Not that I’m without responsibilities, but for the most part I have the enviable luxury of deciding how to spend my days. It is a privilege I do not take for granted.

On the flip side, Big Papa has precious little free time. He’s in the office five days a week. On weekends, there always seems to be a  long list of things to take care with the Urban Cabin, our yard and occasional visits to help me out with my father when something more than the usual list of sundry items is needed. During our recent remodel and yard renovation the ‘to do’ list seems to multiply like rabbits overnight.

Aside from the “structural” differences in our days, Big Papa and I need different things from our free time as well.  Although I am something of an introvert, I recharge by ‘doing’ things. I garden, write, photograph, cook, and work out at the gym. I feel the most at peace when my arms are elbow deep in soil, my legs are spinning fast and furiously on a bike, or I’m cooking up a storm in the kitchen.

Big Papa needs more time to just be.  For him to recharge his batteries, unencumbered time is what he craves. He needs time, as one of our close friends puts it, to “sit and watch the wheat grow.”

I want to be respectful of Big Papa and give him what he needs, but too often I fall short. I interrupt. I chatter away at length. I ask for help. I structure his day.

Being able to step away from the daily grind and clear one’s head is so crucial to maintaining sanity. Sometimes the very thing that needs doing is nothing at all. I get that. Being able to give that is where I am most challenged. The gift of a truly free day or afternoon is what I know Big Papa wishes for and I feel more committed than ever to make it so.

Instead of giving the day over to checking off items on our to do list or making headway on this project or the next,  I’d like to work on being better at helping Big Papa protect his free time.

How glorious the gift of free time can be.  Just like those endless days of summer where, as kids, hours floated by as we lay on our backs blissfully watching the clouds roll by. In a world where our cares eat up precious minutes, having free time to enjoy is truly freeing. And, in a world where everything seems to cost more money, free time costs nothing yet its value is priceless.