“Slow down, you move too fast,” Big Papa told me with a smile yesterday morning.
His eyes twinkled, “You’ve got to make the morning last.”
There I was: sipping my coffee, yes, but definitely not kicking down the cobblestones, looking for fun or feeling groovy. Nope, I was already several items deep into my “to do” list for the day. Get a post up on my blog; figure out plans for this and that, call so-and-so. And, do it all now, quick. So I can get out of the house and go to the gym and then on to the next thing. My wings flap away at 100 miles an hour.
It’s not like I never take time to smell the roses. I do, literally, when I’m out in the garden. However the moments when I turn down the speed dial in my brain are rare.
I am always on the go: to the gym, the farmers market, to visit my father, catch up with friends, grocery shopping, garden store. And doing: must clean, must plant, must format my photos, and must make the latest and greatest ice cream.
Granted, I get a certain thrill from going and doing. There is a rhythm and a pace to keeping busy that satisfies part of my brain, the part that enjoys checking items off the list and seeing things organized, complete, taken care of, done.
I was talking about this very subject with my writing group last night. Even when I write, I typically do so with a goal, a deadline in mind. I write for a post or to submit an article to a contest or for review at my writing group. Writing just to write? I don’t do much of that. A Zen writer I am not: writing for writing’s sake, taking the time to just sit with the words, let them come, and not think about how the words sound, where they’re going to end up or how anyone else might react to them.
So, I’ve made a commitment to myself to try. True, I will likely need to schedule weekly down time for myself, because I’m willing to bet, if I don’t, it’ll never happen. Not because I’m bad at follow-through. Au contraire–I’m the queen at getting ‘er done. It’s the thought of setting aside time to write “aimlessly” for an hour or so is going to provide a certain challenge.
The same thing happens when I try to simply sit on the bench in our garden and do…nothing. “Ah, the sun feels so nice on my shoulders” I tell myself. “Look at that cute bird on the feeder” I think silently. And then it starts: where is my camera, look at all the weeds in the garden bed, those flowers need deadheading, when are we going to finish with the ground cover in the woodland section…
It will take some doing to stop doing. And I’ll need to remind myself: Sit. Stay. Good girl.
Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.
Hello lamppost,
What cha knowing?
I’ve come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain’t cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in’ doo-doo,
Feelin’ groovy.
Got no deeds to do,
No promises to keep.
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.
~Paul Simon, 59th Street Bridge Song